Cinco de Mayo. A day of celebration, colorful culture, and massive taco consumption.
But where does such a unique holiday such as Cinco come from? What is its significance? And how the heck can you incorporate weed into the celebration?
You got questions, I’ve got answers.
First off, what exactly is Cinco de Mayo?
Contrary to popular belief, Cinco de Mayo is not Mexican Independence Day (which is September 16. Hey, where’s our Dieciseis de Septiembre party?), but a day that commemorates Mexico’s victory over the French at the Battle of Puebla.
Why’s the Battle of Puebla such a big deal? And wait, Mexico fought France?
Dank questions. Did you know that the American Civil War wasn’t the only conflict happening on this continent in the early 1860’s? Nope, a whole other war was taking just place south of the border: the Franco-Mexican War.
Essentially, the French Emperor at the time, Napoleon III, thought that he could cruise through Mexico to lend supply aid to the Confederate states.
Yes way, rhetorical question that I wrote for dramatic effect. Old Napoleon was fighting for the South and he would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for that meddling General Ignacio Zaragoza.
You see, on May 5, 1862, Mexican General Ignacio Zaragoza and his vastly outnumbered militia met the French army just outside of Mexico City at a small town known as Puebla. And Ignacio and the boys totally beat them down.
Main man Ignacio. No one expected the Mexican militia to win against the full power of the French, but guess what? They don’t listen to the haters.
Really, at its heart, Cinco De Mayo is a celebration of underdogs overcoming the odds. And what else is the path to Federal marijuana legalization but a bunch of underdogs overcoming the odds?
This calls for a celebration.
How to Celebrate Cinco De Mayo
You can thank FDR (President Franklin Delano Roosevelt) for bringing the Cinco party to the U.S., as he popularized the holiday in 1933 with his “Good Neighbor Policy” that aimed to improve relations with Latin American countries.
So, in the effort of being good neighbors, let’s party, MassRoots style.
Eat Dank Food
Primarily, your goal for a weed-friendly Cinco de Mayo should be food. Lots of it.
Go find a food truck and buy tacos. Order some fresh nachos while listening to Mariachi at your local Mexican eatery. Make some fresh guacamole with your amigos. If you’re eating on Cinco, you’re probably having a good time.
Before I continue, a quick note on something near and dear to my heart:
An Ode to Avocados.
According to the California Avocado Commission (who I am currently sending my resume to as we speak), Americans consume up to 81 million pounds of avocados on Cinco de Mayo every year.
You’ve heard of Black Friday, this is more of a Green Thursday. Why not make this a true Green Thursday by adding others things that are, how shall we say, verde?
Buy a piñata from your local grocery store and fill it with your favorite sweet treats. Then light up with your buddies and have fun smashing away at that tree dangling papier-mâché candy sack. Seriously, these things are still fun.
We got one a couple weeks ago and I’m still finding Laffy Taffy in my backyard. The raccoons are getting out of hand. Someone please help.
Listen to Awesome Music
“I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)” – Pitbull. Yes, Pitbull. This song holds up.
Make French Jokes
Get blitzed and throw croissants off your roof. Smash bottles of red wine. Throw escargot at a picture of Napoleon. This day is about French losing. Which is hilarious.
Go to a Festival
Additionally, there is most likely a bunch of parties at a city near you. Here are some key celebrations that caught my eye:
Lucha VaVoom Festival (An authentic Mexican Masked Wrestling match, accompanied by a striptease and comedy)
Today, have fun, stay safe, and celebrate the underdog Mexican militia overcoming all the odds as well as Mexican culture in general.
Speaking of overcoming all the odds: Marijuana Margaritas. They’re possible. Whip out your Magic Bullet and prepare to have a Cinco De Mayo you won’t ever forget.