So You’re Gonna Take a Drug Test

Published on July 18, 2018, By Brittany Driver

Uncategorized

You might not be in the world’s greatest situation if you are searching for articles like this. Whether you have a drug test for a new job coming up, or you’re just paranoid your employer might randomly drug screen you – you should know how testing for weed works. No reason to worry pal, we will fill you in!

Often, when it comes to drug tests for work, there are two scenarios. In scenario one you will be informed of the test and then immediately tested. In scenario two you will be informed of the test and then be given a small window of opportunity to make it right before the test occurs.

Once I had a job interview that went really well. At the end of the interview, I was told that a drug screening needed to be performed in order to extend an offer to me. The interviewer then reached into her desk, grabbed something that looked like a q-tip and leaned over the desk to swab my cheek. If THAT happens to you, there is not much you can do to prevent pot from showing up in your system. SORRY for ya.

But what happens when you have recently consumed cannabis (in the last 30 days or so) and are told you are GOING to be tested this week! Now you are under pressure and full of cannabis-laced urine – so how will you pass this impending drug test.

Good set up, right?

 

Scenario 1

You have only ONE day, you’re going to have to buy a same day cleanse. Warning: They do NOT always work. However, if you find yourself in this predicament, your options are very likely limited. Most smoke shops will carry a same day cleanse and almost every single one of them you can buy is going to taste super gross – don’t say you weren’t warned. There are lots of choices for cleansing drinks, and each will keep your urine clean for different amounts of times. Make sure you have read ALL of the directions before you start downing that detox drink, you might only have as little as a four-hour window to pee and pass.

 

Scenario 2

You have around 3-10 days to prepare you can do a fancier cleanse. Obviously, the 10 day cleanse is going to be the best choice if you are a heavy user and a 3 day cleanse would likely work for the lighter users. One website, Pass Your Test, provides several products to cleanse your body of toxins and also includes a drug test with your order to ensure the cleanse has worked.

 

Scenario 3

You are on the job hunt and want to know how long you need to stop using cannabis to ensure a clean urine screen. That is an easy answer, it just isn’t super fun. You just have to stop consuming pot. If you can stop smoking, vaping, dabbing or eating pot for 30 days (or 90 days if you are a very heavy user) you WILL pee clean because there will be NO POT IN YOUR SYSTEM, duh.

 

In any scenario that requires you to visit a testing facility, you may or may not have an attendant present in the bathroom with you while you urinate. For the most part, they are just there to confirm that you aren’t using synthetic urine or someone ELSE’S urine altogether. Lots of cold cups of pee have been refused due to being too far below body temperature. I have heard about people strapping bags of synthetic (or real) pee to their thighs to keep the liquid’s temperature up. So pee in that cup, friend, and get the heck out of that bathroom.

And then you wait. The wait can last a few days, a week, or maybe you never get a call back because you failed the drug test so terribly that everyone is too embarrassed for you to call. Regardless, try not to stress out about it and sit tight. Whether you passed or failed has already been determined and there isn’t much you can do about it after you have already urinated, is there?

That is it in a nutshell.  Drug testing for cannabis can seem scarier than it really is – imaginations can run away with themselves like that. So the next time you are preparing for a drug test, don’t fret, pet. Give yourself a long hard look in the mirror, unzip your pants and pee in that cup. Because you know all you need to know and you ARE going to pass that test…right?

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