When the Seattle International Comedy Competition is happening, why not house a comedy refugee, show her one of the greatest stoner films of all time, and offer her such incredible sustenance as a sparkling Cannabis Quencher by Evergreen Herbal? I tried it, I survived, I thrived, and am here to tell the tale of cannabis in the form of a delectable sparkling beverage.
As a former stand up comedian, I can say, there are few communities more appreciative of cannabis and its therapeutic qualities. Most of the comedians I know seem to float on a cloud of pot smoke and dick jokes. I find few combinations more charming, so I offered to host a comedian traveling from Utah to perform at the Seattle International Comedy Competition. Before she arrived, she messaged me to ask if I “smoked green,” and I responded with “Do I! But I have something even better!”
As she dropped her bags, I showed her the holy grail of cannabis infused refreshments — A 6 oz. glass bottle of Evergreen Herbal’s Pomegranate, Blueberry + Acai Cannabis Quencher. At only $18 from Uncle Ike’s Pot Shop on E Union in Seattle, this was a steal.
Each bottle of Cannabis Quencher Sparkling is infused with 30mg of active THC, the psychoactive cannabinoid responsible for producing the euphoric feeling most often described as being high. Though the bottle’s branding is classy, yet simple and clearly labeled, it still reminded me of the wine cooler my “cool” uncle let me take a sip of back in 1995.
You can even pour this tasty quencher into the handy-dandy lid that converts into a tall shot glass after opening, which simplifies the act of dosing. The three servings per bottle were easy to measure and share with a friend, as we quickly found out.
This sparkling beverage did not disappoint with its balance of sweet and sour. It could probably pass as a non-infused soda in a blind tasting, with only a slight hint of cannabis in the aftertaste. Most of the cannabis flavor settles at the bottom of the bottle, so a light tip upside down before you pop off the cap will help to evenly mix the infusion. The carbonation is light and jolly. We split the bottle and eagerly guzzled our half while deciding which movie to watch.
“Have you ever seen Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas?” I asked her. “No, what’s that?” she replied. Astonished, I gave a brief history of one of the most prolific and debaucherous writers in American history, Hunter S. Thompson and his quest for the “American Dream.” “It’s a movie about driving into Las vegas with a suitcase full of drugs,” I said, and immediately my guest was on board. We put in the VHS tape (yes, VHS tape) and laid back, not sure what to expect after drinking our Cannabis Quencher only a few minutes before. We checked in with each other after about 20 minutes, just as the film descended into a hedonistic whirlwind, and a slight warming sensation was creeping in on us both.
Not long after, my cousin walked into the living room with three bags full of the unsold baked goods from the cafe at which she works (big thanks to the gentleman cafe employee who over ordered that week). My guest and I scoured through the 3 bags full of cake pops, deli sandwiches, muffins, cookies, cheese & crackers, and yogurt parfaits until I had a coffee table, fridge, and freezer full to the brim. I have never been so prepared for the munchies. At this point, about 45 minutes post Cannabis Quencher consumption, Hunter S. Thompson and his lawyer had turned their Las Vegas hotel room into a bizarre, swamp-like drug den, while we were making out with our snacks.
Half of the Pomegranate, Blueberry + Acai Cannabis Quencher (15 mg THC) left me feeling uplifted with light and dreamy body sensations. Although I was feeling the full effects just after an hour, I was still able to be social, which is a big win for me. My eyes and mouth didn’t feel dry, and I don’t think anyone would have even known I was high because it was such a mellow and evenly balanced experience.
I would recommend the Pomegranate, Blueberry + Acai Cannabis Quencher by Evergreen Herbal to anyone who loves wine coolers, antioxidants, deviant American journalists, day old baked goods, and hilarious good times with friends. The effects I experienced were very light and manageable, so you might be able to get away with drinking one of these before presenting an inaugural address, or ideally, reporting on a motorcycle tournament in the dusty Las Vegas desert. After all, this is America, the land of freedom, so take a swig and don’t look back.