“4.20 lb watermelon, I think it’s a record”
This isn’t the first time O.G MassRoots user Tony Greenhand has rolled the world’s largest joint, but this is certainly the first time it has burned perfectly, and it wasn’t by sheer luck. Two years back Tony rolled a 5 foot long, 3lb joint that hotboxed all of Harvest Fest, but while people carried and handled it, it became harder and harder to hit. Though, Tony is methodical in the way he plans his joints. Thinking carefully about each aspect, he pieced together this 4.2lb joint before myself and hundreds of periscope viewers over the course of 5 days.
The plan began a couple months back when The Co2 Company in Oregon approached me to collaborate on a twaxed preroll to become available in the Oregon market. Tony saw this as the opportune moment to roll, yet again, the world’s largest joint, as a way to announce our collaboration. Gears turned, time passed, and as April 20th approached, the Co2 Company had gathered together, through farmer donations, more than enough flower to fill the world’s largest joint.
Beginning with the paper, Tony arduously glued together one after another after another, until a 7 by 1 ft paper rug lay across our living room floor. Before any rolling could truly begin, the 4.2lbs needed to be ground. Tony and I purchased a food processor, that we named Nibbler, just for this occasion. Nibbler ate through all 1900 grams (approximately), in under an hour, a task that, if done by hand, would have taken days to complete.
Perfectly rolling the paper over to the exact right size, Tony began to create the short, fat and dense joint we smoked the night of the 16th. Once filled, the joint was wrapped again, this outer wrap made sure any slight rips or tears wouldn’t be an issue. Due to its shape and size, Tony decided not only to make it into a watermelon, but that it should be attached to a table.
The table kept everyone safe around the giant ember, and ensured the airflow he created with dowels was not blocked by shifting the joint around. Without proper airflow a giant joint will not smoke well, too much airflow and you’ll get nothing but air, not enough and it’ll feel like you’re sucking a golf ball through a straw. Fifty-four dowels were stuck into the joint in order to create the right amount of airflow. Once the dowels were placed, the joint sat and cured for nearly a day settling into place, so that when the dowels were removed the pathways did not collapse.
Using a soy based ink, Tony colored the outside of the joint in green, with darker green stripes. The top of the joint was covered in watermelon juicy jays, to appear as if the watermelon had been sliced open. To keep any ground weed from being sucked through into the filter, a screen was attached to the bottom of the joint before the filter was attached. Like a cardstock funnel the filter then attached to a flexible hose that people could draw their hit from. A hole was cut in the table and the hose and filter were fed through it.
Tony was anxious to set the watermelon ablaze as we pulled up the the event the Co2 Company had put together. Not a minute after the event began he sparked it up. My first few puffs hit like a sledgehammer to the face, I felt faint, my head buzzed, knees went weak, I suddenly felt as if I was floating and had to grab the fence to keep my balance. Our friend @followmybong explained his experience of smoking the watermelon as the end to his 4 month long tolerance break, “Ripping that beast felt like defeating a champion… Tunnel vision left me to sink into my own world where my only grasp on reality was trying to hold my bong upright and not drop it.”
The joint burned for nearly three hours, the smoke that came off of it was like a signal fire calling all stoners to come and burn with us, filling the neighboring building, whose windows happened to be open. When people seemed satiated and we were too high to continue smoking, we put out the joint, making it now the world’s largest roach.
“I had never been so excited or so afraid of something before hitting the 4.2 lb watermelon joint. It was the result of 7 years of trial and error. Would I do it again? No… I’d do it bigger, I will do it bigger, and you’re invited.”
– Tony Greenhand
This post was originally published on April 19, 2016, it was updated on March 15, 2017.